


daddy and wisconsin and jesus christ

by Missy



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Babies, Courtship, Developing Relationship, F/M, Found Family, Humor, Inspired by Music, Mild Angst, Rating May Change, Returning Home, Romance, Season/Series 07, Slow Burn, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22971214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Laverne left Milwaukee two years ago hoping that she and Shirley would strike it big as actresses in Los Angeles.  A hundred hopeless auditions, one cheating stuntman, a broken condom and nine months of stretch marks and water retention later and she's run back home, away from Sonny's betrayal and Shirley's obvious disappointment in her.A flat tire outside of a surprisingly active bar brings her back in contact with two guys she haven't spoken to in forever.  But while Lenny and Squiggy are now "establisated businessmen," they could use an extra hand around the place.And Kosnowski is still a pretty good last name for a little guy who might not get any mail otherwise.  Now if only Lenny can convince Laverne of that...
Relationships: Laverne DeFazio/Lenny Kosnowski, Laverne DeFazio/Sonny St. Jacques
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Been a Long Time, But I'm Back in Town

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, this was inspired by Lady Gaga's "You and I." 
> 
> Of course there's a "cool Wisconsin guy" version:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvoWgHHb6ks

Laverne DeFazio cursed as she fishtailed out of the way of an oncoming driver, his horn blaring into the freezing night and his headlights arcing rainbows in the sleety early winter rain. 

She cursed and threw him the finger as she sped blindly onward. In the two years since she’d been in California, she’d managed to forget how terrible the drivers in Milwaukee were – rude as hell on top of it all. And she wasn’t the best at staying between the lines in the first place.

“You okay, Jamie?” she asked, flinging a worried look at the carrier in which her two-month-old lay sleeping in the front seat. The baby made a sleepy burbling noise, but otherwise seemed to be peacefully resting. Laverne let out a relieved sigh. At least one important person in her life wasn’t furious with her.

It was all right though. She was furious with more than one important person in her life, too.

She glowered as she remembered the look on Sonny’s face when she’d burst into his apartment with the baby, ready to carry him off to the church for a combination wedding/baptism. Instead she found Sonny handcuffed to the stripper who had entertained at his bachelor party the night before, the both of them obviously disheveled and sporting obvious hickeys and guilty faces.

Sonny had not done much to acquit himself, and she had not made his excuses easy.

With that, the relationship was over, newborn or not. Laverne couldn’t and wouldn’t keep him from seeing Jamie, but she definitely didn’t have to keep up with the pretense of loving a cheater. Thankfully, her Pop, Edna and Shirley had supported that decision. It was the other decision she’d made – to stay single afterwards, that all of them questioned.

While her Pop had threatened to turn Sonny into meatballs for cheating on her, a month after the broken engagement he started trying to set her up with other guys, even bringing up the possibility of matchmakers and arranged marriages. He may have gotten the grandchild he’d always wanted from his Muffin, but her double defiance of the rules had him worried about her soul.

All of that could have been tolerable, had Shirley not suggested that maybe listening to her father and getting married would be a good idea. Laverne had been aghast at the very idea. She loved her Pop, but she wasn’t going to marry some stranger just so he and the church would be happy for her. She loved Shirley, but she couldn’t live to satisfy her best friend’s sense of morality. 

Laverne’s vision blurred with tears. Especially after what she’d said when Laverne had told her she was pregnant…

Out of the blue, a cat ran right into the path of Laverne’s car. She came to an abrupt stop, then heard a grinding and popping sound as she ran over something thankfully not cat-shaped in her pathway. 

The car then started to list slightly to the side. 

Perfect. A blown tire. 

She glanced at Jamie, who still slept deeply, sucking away at an invisible pacifier. The kid had an uncanny ability to sleep through nearly every earthquake the world had thrown at him so far. He was luckier than his mom.

Through her tears and as horns blared behind her, she looked up and saw a neon sign a few inches up the block. Her windshield wipers pushed back sheets of rain to reveal the words “The Purple Iguana.” Huh, someone had taken over Moby Dominick’s. It sounded downright classy. 

Hopefully, they had a phone and fairly clean ladies’ room, because she knew Jamie was going to need a fresh diaper soon, she thought to herself as she pulled into their small back lot.

*** 

Laverne wandered into the place with a suspicious eye, but it really did look like a better, safer place than Domick’s ever was. The interior was a little sleeker but has a kind of old English charm, and the wooden walls and leather seats. And it did seem reasonably clean, another bonus.

She’d taken two steps into the main bar and spotted a phone booth sitting at the opposite end of it when the cry went up.

“Baby in the bar!” one of the guys scrunched over in the corner booth yelled. The shout was taken up by the twenty or so others dotted on stools, sitting in booths, and became a chant.

“So what?” Laverne snapped, holding Jamie a little closer to her shoulder. “What kind of jerk cares about whether or not someone brings a baby into the bar?”

The door leading to the back room swung open. “Hello!” rang out a horrifying familiar voice.

Laverne pivoted on her heels to see him standing there behind the bar, wearing the same purple shirt and black teeshirt and jeans that he’d always sported, but there was a clean-looking towel carried jauntily over his shoulder. It was as if no time had passed at all.

“All right, so there’s a baby in the bar! Shaddup! You’ll get your free drinks!” Squiggy hollered. A cheer went up through place and Squiggy shook his head, grabbing mugs and pouring brew. She waited until he’d loaded the tray of his waitress before approaching the bar.

“Uh, hi, Squig…” She juggled Jamie in her arms and tried to avoid putting him down on the bar.

Squiggy’s eyes widened. “As I live and seethe! Laverne DeFazio’s back in town!” He slapped the bar with his towel. “Why’d you bring a baby into my bar? It’s a sacred institution! Like a church! No one wants to get crocked looking into the innocent mug of a tot! Why do you think I got my baby policy? The chanting's supposed to scare you off!”

“It’s my baby, and a long story,” she said, trying to juggle her purse onto the bar without losing her grip on Jamie. “Look, can you give me change for a ten so I can use the - …Wait, YOUR bar?” her ears caught up with her brain and logic’s horrible car crash into reason jostled her brain back to life.

“Yes, MY bar. Or, to be more percussion, me and Len’s bar.”

“How the heck did you get enough money for a bar?” she asked.

With her confused question came a sudden crashing sound from behind her. Her heart skipped a beat as Lenny stood gawking at her, broken glass scattered around his boot-clad feet like tiny diamonds.

“Laverne?” he murmured, and reached out for her.


	2. The Corner of My Bar, With Your High Heels On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lenny and Laverne catch up, and Lenny makes an impulsive offer.

Laverne reached out to wrap an arm around Lenny’s neck with a sigh. “Hi, Len.” 

She had to stretch her body to avoid squashing Jamie between them, but the hug was just as calming as it had been years before, when she’d squeezed him onstage after their performance at Hoot Nite. He and Squiggy had flown out to visit the girls twice since they’d moved to Los Angeles and her performance had happened the week he was there - but both boys had remained cagey about life back in Milwaukee, and while she’d sent postcards she’d left them terse notes about the wedding and baby, as if she had been ashamed of herself.

That was the last time she’d seen him – it had been a year and a half, and he still looked…well, like Lenny. Tall, blond, still wearing his Lone Wolf jacket and jeans, as if it were still 1956. The sight of him was a one for sore eyes, and she couldn’t stop herself from grinning as she pulled back a little to regard his face.

He glanced at the baby and his brow quirked. “Do you got time to catch up?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I’ve gotta call for a tow anyway. Can you change me out a twenty?”

“No,” Squiggy said from behind the bar.

“Pay her out, Squig,” Lenny said, his eyes not leaving Laverne’s face.

“Do my nos count for a shred of nothing in this world?” Squiggy asked dramatically.

Lenny strolled to the bar, stepping over the shards of broken glass. “Remember how I took the night shift while I was supposed to be sleeping so you could go chase that chick from the Greasy Lemon nextdoor? Welcome to payback city, pal.” 

Squiggy’s dark eyes darted toward’s Laverne antic face and he pouted. “Lenny, that was a sensitive matter,” he said.

“Just give him your money, Laverne,” Lenny said. She sighed, dug into her purse and pulled out her twenty. Squiggy headed to the register and cashed her out, and she counted her surprisingly exact change.

“We’re gonna go into the tap room and talk,” Lenny told Squiggy.

“You’re gonna leave me alone with this mob?” He gestured toward their sedate clientele. 

“There’s twenty people, Squig. It ain’t even past midnight yet, you’ll be fine!”

“What time do you close?” Laverne asked. 

“Three,” Lenny said. “Only ‘cause it’s not a performance night. We got a twelve o’clock curfew for live music.” She nodded. 

Squiggy grumbled as he grabbed a dustpan and broom and approached the broken glass. “Fine! But this time you owe me, pal. Those glasses are coming out of your side of the pay till.” He started sweeping a path through the mess for Lenny to step through.

“Fine! Just do me one little favor, all right? I’ll close for the next three days.”

“And Sunday.”

Lenny snorted. “Yeah, and Sunday.” 

“Deal. Now move your pizza feet, I’ve got glass to clean.”

Lenny stepped out of the mess. “I’ll watch the kid if you need me to,” he said, as Laverne approached the phone booth.

“Are you sure, Len?” he wasn’t exactly well-known for having a rapport with infants. 

“Sure! I'm sure I like kids fine,” he said. Reluctantly, Laverne handed over her son to Lenny.

Laverne tried to make it quick as she headed into the booth, set down her purse, and called information. They hooked her up with the number for Bronko’s, where, at least last she knew, Fonzie was still working. A bored-sounding guy said he’d come pick up her car by tomorrow. 

“Wait, tomorrow?” It was past nine – no wonder no one wanted to come out to get her. But she slammed down the phone and grabbed her bag in a huff. She could change her own tire - with one hand tied behind her back, thank you very much – but she’d burned through the spare somewhere in Phoenix and hadn’t had the cash left to repair it since. 

With a groan, she hung the phone up, and then turned to see Lenny staring at Jamie, his little body tucked in Lenny’s satin-covered arms, and both boys wearing identical expressions of total confusion. 

_Join the club, Len._ Laverne was flying blind with the baby, and not even the parenting classes she’d dutifully attended with Sonny had prepared her for sudden rashes and fevers, for multicolored poop, for the sleepless nights and the tiny tantrums. 

She emerged and gave him a wan smile. “They can’t tow me ‘til tomorrow.”

“Aww,” Lenny said. “You got a room? I can give you a lift there.”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t exactly planning on staying, Len.”

“Oh. Where were you going?” His blue eyes were filled with confusion. 

She wanted to laugh hysterically at the question – it wasn’t Lenny’s fault, but he’d posed the query that had haunted her since she’d left Los Angeles on impulse. In truth she had no idea where she was going, who she’d be living with, at the end of the line. She only knew that she didn’t want to deal with the mess she’d made of her life back there. “It’s a long story, Len.”

“Wanna come with me to the tap room and tell it?”

She nodded. He didn’t give Jamie back until they were in the small room off the side of the bar, which apparently served as some kind of a function hall. Large, circular tabled made of oak filled the room, and a dark red carpet almost caught her heel as she came inside.  
Lenny scooted into place on his side of the largest table. He gave the baby back, and then eyeballed Jamie as she lay him carefully down on the booth. “You didn’t tell me what his name is,” Lenny said.

“James,” Laverne. “James Luca…I guess St. Jacques, but I’m gonna register him for school under De Fazio when he starts. I’m calling him Jamie for short.”

Joy lit up his eyes. “You married Sonny after all? That’s wonderful!”

She shook her head. “No, Len. We were gonna, but we never went through with the wedding.”

Lenny’s eyes turned huge and luminescent. “Oh. Wow. Your Pop must’ve broke both his legs.”

Laverne snorted. ‘He wanted to. Sonny…This is so embarrassing,” she groaned.

“What’s so embarrassing? You didn’t marry Sal ‘cause he didn’t give you goosebumps. It can’t be worse than that.”

She winced and started playing with the salt shaker. “I caught him cheating on me with the girl who stripped at his bachelor party.”

Lenny whistled. “I’m glad your Pop broke his legs ‘cause I’d be next in line!”

“He didn’t…” she shook her head. “Anyway, I ain’t marrying Sonny. He left the country to do stuntwork on a Hercules movie that’s filming in Malta a couple of months ago. He ain’t seen his son since, and he ain’t called. But I didn’t leave LA because of that.”

“Oh,” Lenny said. Confessing to him about Shirley, about her Pop, about how her movie star pipe dream had only netted her a lousy job at a department store and multiple lay-offs, felt a painful impossibility. 

But he never pressed her for words. Instead he watched her with his big blue eyes. “Y’know, if you ain’t got no place to go, you can work with us. We can always use the extra help – business has been pretty good.”

“That was my next question,” Laverne said. “How the heck can you and Squig afford your own bar?”

“That’s an easy one,” he said. “We saved some of the extra money we got off our raises every week, looking for the right break. Then the guy who owned Moby Dominick’s before did something weird with an octopus and a couple of girls from the Bradstreet Burlesque House…” Laverne gawked at him, and Lenny squirmed. “His wife caught him and they got into a big fight and long story short, she got the place in the divorce and sold it off to us, cheap. Between what Squiggy was saving for his knife sharpening business, what I had in sock money and what we saved, we got off pretty easy. Squig got a couple of guys we know to help us fix it up at half the normal price and we hired some girls we knew to wait tables. Six months into running the place and it’s doing okay, I think.”

“Yeah,” Laverne said. “It looks like a classier joint than Dominick ever ran.”

Lenny gave her a little smile. “Thanks, Laverne.” He sat back, glanced at Jamie again, and then looked to Laverne. “So I’ve got a little proposal…”

Images of Lenny on bended knee trying to ask her to marry him flashed through Laverne’s mind unbidden. “Len…” she said quietly.

He shook his head. “Not that kind of proposal. But since you’ve got nowhere to go – and me and Squig have got a brand new apartment in the old building and there’s lots of extra space for someone extra, maybe you could come stay with us for the night, Laverne. Please?”


	3. Something About This Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laverne and Jamie move in.

Laverne gaped in surprise at Lenny’s request. Her honest impulse was to reject his offer. No way could she stand living in close contact with Lenny and Squiggy for an endless number of months. “Thanks, Len, but I’d be underfoot,” she said.

“Nah! Out new place is bigger; we each got our own room,” Lenny explained. ‘I’ll give Jamie and you mine, and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

That was shockingly easy and simple. Laverne weighed her options. Well. Where else did she have to go, anyway? She’d been loosely thinking about driving all the way to New York and trying her luck on Broadway, but she’d have to find a babysitter for Jamie, and she didn’t think that would be possible on such ridiculously short notice. She was almost out of money, and Lenny would offer her cash.

“You sure you don’t mind?”

“Nah,” Lenny said. He smiled at Jamie. “You always was there for us when we had to pay Missus B in Monopoly money. What’s fair’s fair.”

She smiled and reached across the counter. “Thanks, Len.”

“You’re welcome.” He sighed. “I’ll drive you there in a couple of hours Gotta lock up here, first. Is it too loud for Jamie to sleep? You can stay here, we’ll keep it closed.”

She smiled. “Yeah. We’ll manage okay.”

“All right,” he said. “I’ll bring you food, too, if you…”

“Lenny,” she said, “you’ve got a whole big bar to take care of. I’ll be fine for awhile.”

He sighed. “All right. Be back in a jiff, promise.”  
She watched him go. Her eyes lingered on his bottom. She’d never noticed Lenny’s tush before – either that or lifting boxes of beer all day agreed with him.

 _I’ve gotta be hard-up,_ she thought to herself, and turned her attention to Jamie.

*** 

“Laverne! Getcher keister up!” 

Laverne’s eyes drifted open on an embarrassing snort to see Squiggy hanging over her. For a moment, disorientated, she wondered if she’d passed out and Shirley had sent him to pick her up.

But reality followed swiftly behind. She checked for her son beside her, but found the spot empty. “What did you do with Jamie?”

“Relax,” Squiggy said. “Len’s got him in the truck.”

“What truck?” 

“The delivery truck!” he said, his voice high and mocking. “We gotta pick booze up in something, and not all of it gets delivered.” 

She stood up with a groan and moved toward the exit of the tap room. The bar was deserted and well-cleaned, and out front Lenny sat in a small white truck, with Jamie on the driver’s side seat.

Laverne picked up her son and carried him the whole way back to the modest brownstone where Lenny and Squiggy now lived. She was bone-weary by the time they got to the top floor, and was tempted to ask where the bedrooms were, if she weren’t afraid of the result of the answer.

To Laverne’s shock, the apartment wasn’t horrifyingly messy, though the sink was stocked with dirty dishes and yeterday’s paper lay sprawled over the kitchen table. The walls had been painted pale purple. Everything looked a little bit less dingy.

Lenny immediately excused himself to take a shower, and Squiggy briefly showed her around. “We got leftovers in the fridge,” Squiggy said. “You want fresh, we got sandwich fixings, cereals – anything you want.”

“Thanks, Squig.” She had changed Jamie back at the bar, so didn’t anticipate anything beyond an upcoming 1 am feeding before giving in to sleep.

“Yeah, whatever, shut up. I’ll be leaving you to your business,” he said. There was an edge of resentment in his voice. She wondered if he and Lenny had fought over sheltering her. But then he was stomping off to bed – and she knew from experience he could sleep the sleep of a dead man when he was so motivated. 

Laverne fed Jamie, then chugged down two sandwiches, some chips and a soda. When Lenny emerged from the bathroom in a robe and with a towel around his neck, she blushed – something she hadn’t done in a century or two around a man. Perhaps it was the length of his long, pale legs that she found so distracting – or maybe it was the way he was watching her.

“Uh…I’ll show you my room when you’re done?” 

“No time like the present,” she said. Picking up a dozing Jamie, she followed Lenny into his room. She blinked when he hit the overhead switch and was surprised to note it wasn’t too much of a horrifying pigsty. The sheets looked pretty clean, and it smelled clean, if a little musky.

“I guess you can keep the little guy in a drawer til we get a bassinette,” he said. “Middle one’s probably real soft ‘cause my underwear’s in it.” Lenny stayed in the 

She wrinkled her nose. “Len, I wouldn’t let a dog sleep in your underwear.” She picked the top one, which was filled with his teeshirts. Jamie didn’t make a sound as she left him to rest there and she let out a sigh of relief.

He snorted. “Have I told you that I missed having you around?”

“Only a little,” she smiled, and kicked off her pumps beside his bed.

“See you tomorrow,” he said, shutting the light off, then the door.

Only when Laverne was alone did she realize that Lenny hadn’t bothered to try to make out with her. She should have been glad about that. 

But as she fell asleep, she admitted to herself that she wished he’d tried it.


	4. something about lonely nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laverne's first night on the job - forced proximity ahoy.

She woke up to the tune of Jamie’s mid-evening yowls for food. When Laverne checked, his diaper was damp but not wet. With a groan, she dug through the bag she’d brought with her, cleaned his tushie, cleaned her hands, and, sitting on the edge of Lenny’s bed, plunked her nipple into his mouth.

“Well,” she whispered – even though she knew Lenny and Squiggy could sleep through a typhoon – “whaddya think of the place?”

Jamie made soft, querulous infant noises while continuing to suck down his midnight feeding. She was going to have to figure out where she could pump in this apartment – no way could she do it with the boys present. No way could she pump and freeze at the Purple Iguana either. But that would be a problem for later. While Jamie drifted back to sleep in her arms, Laverne explored Lenny’s room.

His walls were pale blue, and his bedspread still bright green. There were ripped pictures of pin-up models on the walls, and Jeffrey sat on the end table. His baby pictures sat in odd frames near the bed, and there were a couple of empty bottles of Shotz. On the other side of the room, propped in a folding chair, was his guitar. The sight of it made Laverne yearn for the instrument she’d left behind in Los Angeles. 

Maybe Lenny wouldn’t mind if she played it sometime. She’d have to ask him. 

It was strange, to lie there among his possessions, to smell his skin upon the sheets, without Lenny actually being there. His generosity with her was typical of him but unprecedented among normal human beings. Part of it, she supposed, had to have been motivated by his old crush on her. Either that or he had a soft spot for pathetic chicks who couldn’t get their lives together.

When Jamie was asleep again she carefully tucked him back into his drawer. She’d spend the first paycheck she got from the guys on a playpen for him, she decided. 

God knew when she’d get it.

*** 

There was something both luxurious and odd, being allowed to sleep past noon. Jamie’s various complaints and her need for food and the bathroom drove her into the living room, where, she noted, Lenny had fallen asleep head-down in a large cardboard wine box while Squiggy was cleaning the dishes by throwing them into a trashbag. 

“Afternoon, boys.” 

“Hey Laverne,” Lenny said to the floor. He got up and faced her, and once he got up she handed him Jamie. “Hey little guy. You all set to spend your first night in a real bar?”

Jamie burbled and reached for Lenny’s face. 

“You sure things won’t get too wild?” Laverne asked.

“Nah,” Lenny said.

“Yeah, ever since they closed the strip joint up the street our clientele had been downright reciprocal,” Squiggy said.

“Well that’s…nice,” Laverne said. 

“If you need any help, just yell,” Lenny said, in between making faces at Jamie. “I’ll slap the guy with my Stabbing Stick.”

“We also use it to make sure people can hit the high notes during karaoke night.”

Laverne could only shake her head as she headed into the kitchen to make a lunch-breakfast of whatever she could find on hand and plunk it between her lips while the boys took temporary watch over her son. It was, indeed, going to be an interesting night.

*** 

It was five steps to the left of ridiculous, but ‘interesting’ definitely fit the bill.

Laverne found herself learning more and more about the boys’ customers as she delivered their booze, holding the tray far over her head, lugging beer and snacks from one end of the room to the other. It was like working at a more divey version of the Pizza Bowl to some degree. 

There was Louie, the guy who had insurance on every fish farm in Lake Michigan. Dieter, a sensitive poet type who probably belonged at the Buttered Cocoon downtown. The Nussbaum Twins, who finished each other’s sentences. Eventually, Laverne would learn their quirks and preference the way she knew the back of her own hand.

At the moment she was just trying to keep ahead of the midnight rush. Lenny was the one who pulled her off for her break and told her to sit down and eat something. He didn’t join her – it was his job to run Fish Toss Night, whatever that was – but he kept a worried eye on her all night.

It was typical of him and untypical of him – this guy who had always been laser focused on her. Laverne wondered if he had always looked at her that way – and why she noticed it now.

“Hey, lady!” someone shouted from the crowd. “This soda’s flat!”

She cursed under her breath and glanced at Squiggy.

“Needs a new carbonater, probably. There’s more in the supply closet,” he said, trying to keep the draft flowing – people rarely bought soda at the Purple Iguana. She’d never seen him look quite so serious, either. But that was probably a side-effect of the pressure he was under. Or the fact that he was carrying her kid around strapped to his back, so they wouldn’t go broke because there was a baby in the bar.

Laverne did know where the supply closet was, at least. She had to knee it open, where she found what looked like the right filter. Then there was a curse, and the sound of the lock slipping closed. And a very, very familiar “oh no.” 

“Laverne?” Lenny sqwaked in the darkness, with a long metal hose in his grip.

She didn’t know if she was going to kill him or just lightly punch him, so she settled on glaring into the darkness instead.


	5. It's Been Two Years Since I Let You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which motives are revealed.

“Laverne?” Lenny called into the darkness. “Come on. Whatt’re you gonna do?” he asked her. “Pretend I ain’t here?” 

“No!” Laverne snapped. She dug around in the pocket of her apron until she finally pulled out a book of matches emblazoned with the Purple Iguana’s logo. She struck one and illuminated Lenny’s frantic face.

“All right,” she snapped, “why did you ‘uh oh?’” Laverne wondered.

“Uh,” he squeaked, and then cleared his throat. “Uh,” he said in a deeper voice, “because that door always sticks and I think we might be locked in here?”

She lurched toward him, extinguishing the match. “Why did you let it close then?”

“Because! I thought I could just jimmy it with this crowbar I keep in here for emergencies, smarty!”

Laverne glared at Lenny – or in the general direction of his face. “So use it!”

“All right!” He stumbled around in the dark, looking for the crowbar. “You’re doing a good job,” he said idly.

“Yeah?” she said. 

“Of course. You got more experience than the last three guys we fired. They were real mad too. One of ‘em even threw his mustache at me and swore in Italian.” 

“I…” Laverne shook her head. She refused to ask the question, and Lenny didn’t seem ready to volunteer. Instead he let out a ‘hah!’ and grabbed the crowbar from bottom of a pile of…well, things she couldn’t see, and certainly hoped weren’t sharp enough to hurt her.

Lenny wrenched the door open quickly, and warm light blasted her eyes, along with the music. She felt a little bit of disappointment as they separated. She really wanted to talk with him about the praise he’d levied on her. It was nice to hear but she wasn’t confident it was how he felt about her waitressing skills. 

The night passed by without further event. Laverne collected her son from Squiggy by the end of the evening, and Jamie had fallen asleep in the crowded barroom, snuggled up to the oddball neighbor

Lenny bought them Chinese food, and they ate knee to knee at the table. She had to wait for Squiggy to go to bed before heading Lenny off at the sink.

“So,” she said, “I’m pretty sure I kinda stink at waitressing.”

“You don’t, Laverne,” he said without looking up.

Then her gaze turned suspicious, and her soapy fingers poked him. “Why’re you being so nice to me?” She knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but she also knew that there was a guilty edge to how kind Lenny was being to her. She sorted her tips out on the kitchen table and prepared to nurse Jamie in the bathroom.

His hand landed upon her shoulder and his voice was soft and grave. “Because I talked to Randy. Before he died.”

Laverne wheeled toward him at his sudden declaration, and noted that Lenny’s features had crumpled, preparing himself for a blow. 

He took a deep breath. “I promised Randy I’d look out for you.” She sucked in a breath. It always hurt to hear Randy Carpenter’s name. “Shirl’s like a sister to me and you…you know how I feel about you. But I know how much you deserve to be with someone who loves you. You deserve to love another guy that needs you just as much, and I’m sorry it wasn’t Sonny.” Lenny took a deep breath and got up from the kitchen table. “I love you, y’know. You don’t have to love me back.”

_I love you. You don’t have to love me back._

“…Anyway,” he said, “I promised him I’d look after you. I know I ain’t always done the best with that,” he said. “But I want you to be happy and safe, really I do. Now that you got Jamie, I gotta make double sure for the both of you.”

All Laverne could think of was those last, desperate weeks she’d wasted with Sonny, trying to cling to what they had even though he’d cheated on her, that was all she’d wanted to hear from him. 

But she let Lenny retreat to the bathroom, staring at the void he’d left until her son started to cry and jolted her back to reality. She would have to take care of him now, pay close attention to his needs. She was a mom first, and nobody’s lover.


	6. This Time I'm Not Leaving Without You

Winter started fading into spring as Laverne acclimated herself to life with the boys, and life with her son alone. She could sling a tray of brew with the best of them and knew how to battle off groping fingers. She could make change for anything from a set of gold teeth to a welfare check. She could polish a bar with a rag in her teeth, and whenever the Braves or the Buccs played she could shout along with the crowds. Laverne let herself drift through the days, saving money for her own place, and keeping her eye on the boys and the books as time went on.

“Hey, Laverne,” Lenny said, as she sat on the couch bottle-feeding Jamie one afternoon. “Y’wanna go for a walk?”

“Sure,” she replied. The idea of going out into the mild, freshly warm spring afternoon sounded nice, and it would be healthy for Jamie, who hadn’t gotten to spend much time in the sunshine after being exposed to the long Milwaukee winter.

Lenny grinned – he got her up and helped her with her coat. She dressed Jamie in a light blue jacket that Squiggy had dug out of a Goodwill store – it was finally warm enough for him to leave the apartment without a hat. 

Together, they walked to the park, hands brushing but not touching. Laverne wondered why Lenny wanted to make sure she got fresh air, but fresh air she did indeed manage to get.

“Are you having a good time working for us?” Lenny asked suddenly.

“Yeah. You ain’t bad, when it comes to bosses.”

Lenny shrugged. “Yeah, well, we try.” He stopped and took a good look at Laverne. “You’re happy?”

“Yeah,” she said. 

“Okay,” Lenny said. A little smile made the corner of his mouth tilt up. “If you’re real happy, I’m real happy, Laverne.” 

“Good.” Then he reached for her hand and brushed his fingertips against the ones not keeping a good grip on Jaime. “I missed you when you was in California for all that time.”

“I missed you, too.” Guiltily, she realized she’d forgotten him for awhile, but didn’t ever completely manage to shake the specter of the tall blond boy who adored her from her rear view mirror. 

“So…y’know that the bar goes up in that bartending competition that happens every year in Chicago around this time of the year, right?”

“Yeah,” Laverne said. “You told me something about that,” she said. 

“Well, Squig can never get the whole pouring order right, and he doesn’t do well in front of big crowds that like to jeer him – so how’s about it, Laverne? You wanna do it?” He hunched when he asked the question, as if he were afraid she’d punch him.

“I dunno. Me and a contest? Len…”

“Why not?” He whined. “You’d be real good at it.” 

She eyeballed him. He just smiled back at her, perfectly innocent. A long sigh came from Laverne. “All right,” she said.

He grabbed her and Jamie up in a hug. “You won’t regret it, Laverne! You’re the best!” he shouted.

Laverne gently squeezed him back – and hoped with all of her heart she wouldn’t.


	7. my sweet new jersey guy

“No, you gotta pour salt on the guy’s wrist BEFORE you serve the margarita! Otherwise what’s he got to lick before he sucks?” Squiggy lamented.

Laverne grinned and opened her mouth to retort, but that earned her a glare. 

“Squig, give her more time wouldya?” Lenny asked. He was trying to re-arrange the bottles of tequila in alphabetical order behind the bar, but he kept putting the I’s in front of the B’s. 

“Would you just let me do that?” Laverne asked. She quickly got it done, while Lenny watched her, his eyes wide and admiring with gooey, lovey-dovey joy.

“You did real good,” he said. He tilted his head to the side and started stacking glasses. Laverne could see nothing ahead but a horror show of broken glass, but she let him accomplish the task.

“Nah, it was nothing,” Laverne shrugged. She stood back and he kept watching her, until Squiggy flung a napkin at them.

“PU! Wouldya come back to Earth and pay attention to what’s important here?! ME?” Squiggy asked. “I’ve got hundreds of dollars riding on Laverne becoming Miss Or Mister Milwaukee Bar Association 1969. We need to kill the competition! Cream ‘em! Make ‘em beg! Make ‘em wish they were never born!” Squiggy slapped the bar with his rag. “But we gotta play dirty! We gotta convince them you’re a queen and not…”

“Watch your mouth,” Laverne ordered. She was helping Lenny check the taps and making sure they didn’t need to order more kegs from Shotz.

“…The charming young lady humiliating herself for my – I mean our, our! - Happiness!” Squiggy finished. “Yeah, are you okay with skipping a bra?” Squig asked.

“Squiggy,” Lenny growled.

“I’ll do it,” Laverne shrugged.

“You’re getting’ it!” Squiggy beamed. “Now how do you feel about twirling a sparkler while pouring beer?”

“No! I got my limits,” she growled.

“Fine, but you gotta think razzle-dazzle.” He said. “Think big smiles! Vaseline on your nose! Nipples on your ears!”

“That’d qualify for a second talent!” Lenny said happily.

“Boys, just get me the guidelines and let me handle it,” Laverne told them. Squiggy mumbled that he would. Lenny said loudly that he was very proud of her. Then they were both too busy to help her, and she was too busy to think about what she was going to wear or how it would look for a single mother to compete in a bartending contest in front of hundreds of strangers. 

It wasn’t, she thought bitterly, as if Sonny had any right to throw a fit if she chose to do so. He’d recued himself from the life of Jamie and from her own, had ruined everything with his cheating. If she had to win some kind of bartending contest to get the Purple Iguana attention, then so be it.

A moment later, she turned at watched Lenny. He was still tending bar in his teeshirt, shouting over the voices of the regulars. Their eyes locked and he looked away, flushing.

Laverne held the feelings rolling over her heart down. She didn’t have time for dreams right now – if she ever had.


End file.
